#where are they putting it. you cant convince me it doesnt exist

[lbhslefttiddie]

i have a burning question and no one is allowed to laugh at me

where

where do japanese fanfictions live

[tapestryundone]

yknow what why not. have this from last night

(just the text under the cut)

IM INTRIGUED BY WHATEVER HE HAS GOING ON bc he likes fun but seems also deeply unhappy with himself which FEELS like it contradicts his whole being Like That but it makes Sense. why is he so self consious

it FEELS related to him as a voice being like. a desperate desire for agency at all costs. to be able to have fun in an extremely stressful situation. im struggling to put my finger on it but its liek

all of the voices are tied to complex emotions and hes like. the epitome of trying to get someone to leave you alone by doing anything you can to piss them off. like hes decided he Likes to do that, actually, and its NOT a desperate attempt to gain control in a situation where he has none, bc hes genuinely compassionate but it gets hidden behind the fact that he wants to upset hte narrator. hes the opposite of the opportunist in that he doesnt want to appeal to people who have power over him, he doesnt want to fight them or run away from them, all he wants is to aggravate them because he doesnt think he CAN do anything else. its pestering someone bc its the most power you can exert against people and situations you dont wanna be in, and then convincing yourself that its what you wanted in the first place

as a guy who likes fun DOES make him clash w the tones of a LOT of the game but i think its like. easy to look at the other voices and pinpoint what survival mechanism they are and then contrarian shows up and its less obvious

but hes a persons NEED to have fun, similar to cold. where cold has rejected the notion of emotions but still seeks novelty, contrarian NEEDS to experience joy and is trying to force it to happen, even if it involves goading the others or making bad long-term decisions. hes a very emotion-heavy voice and i think thats probably WHY hes quick to feel guilt and shame, bc it stems from teh same need to feel satisfied with actions and your environment, because in a situation like this, you CANT get entertainment from yourself. but he cant entertain anyone but himself. but he cant actually do that because its weak, poorly executed attempts at levity that falls apart under pressure

idk if this makes ANY sense im just intrigued by him. bc the stranger route started as a joke but it seems to serve as the BIGGEST outlier of a chapter in the whole game to teh pt where it can give you an entirely new ending that even goes so far as to include a second voice in the ending which makes me feel like he has to be important SOMEHOW

maybe its just the underlying emotions of it all. above all else, people want to enjoy life. it doesnt matter if life is stagnant, or if life is a unending cascade of changes, because its only bad if the people it affects do or dont enjoy it. because what the world does and doesnt need revolves around if it makes you feel good. hell i feel like theres a case for the fact that the contrarian ALWAYS gives you new, novel options. he ADDS change wherever he goes. hes the among the most connected to the shifting mound of the voices in that what he wants changes by the moment because what he wants above all else IS change and novelty. and hes a persons need for joy in life, something that is so distinctly mortal, to not just exist but to ENJOY existing, something that the narrator gave the long quiet and the shifting mound. he just extremely represents choices that are Out There. and the fact that the contrarian ascribes "the courage to do things that others may not do" as being him is ALSO interesting to me. maybe hes not just a persons ability to seek joy but also a persons ability to push back against outside pressure. a complement to the heros desire and conviction for agency, being the ability to push back when that agency is denied, to be able to live and feel fulfilled through ones OWN choices, not someone elses

and in an environment that so often denies that agency, his Whole Deal is trying to wrench back that agency even if he knows it wont work. the Trying IS the point. but in spending so much time trying to wrestle agency back you dont really pay attention to situations where you dont need to do that. because as far as hes concerned, you dont have agency, cant have agency, and wont have agency, so the best he can do is be a dick about it. as far as hes concerned, choices dont really matter. if everything is changing, if you can make EVERY choice, then do those choices matter? which always shocks him when they DO. because as an entity that exists to try to piss off those denying you agency, you dont realize where the line between 'choices that dont matter' and 'choices that have effects' are. but by his nature he ALWAYS forces his actions to matter without realizing it. maybe THATS why the knife never comes back after he throws it away. because it is in his nature to allocate agency where there previously was none. to the detriment of Literally Everyone

guy who makes agency exist but doesnt realize hes causing that and keeps acting like his choices dont have consequences

and that in itself is like. his comment abt EVERYTHING being as bad as nothing. feels like it rly strongly is tying him to what tlq and tsm once were. because they used to be the combination of everything and nothing. but now they are everything and nothing, apart. and maybe thats part of where contrarians weird self consciousness comes from, because his very existence is to force EVERYTHING to be possible, to do EVERYTHING, to cause as much change as possible, but its still not what he wants, he wants a balance that doesnt exist anymore

idk if this is making ANY sense i feel like ive accidentally talked into circles like 50 times but out of all of the voices the context of his purpose intrigues me the most actually bc i think everyone else has pretty straightforward purposes and then theres. This Guy who JUST causes problems. but its weirdly sincere about it. and i think its intentional bc blacktabbygames does not shy away from making Guys Who Are Just Obnoxious and unwavering in their goals, and for how much each of the voices so adamantly resist yet desire change, contrarian and hero are both the most malleable and changing

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3

[stupidrant]

hey man you got some more random atreboda headcanons for me please 👁️👁️

since u asked so nicely anon <3333

underdressed bf x overdressed gf

comparing hand sizes (lets guess who's idea THAT was 🙄)

atreus teaches angrboda to shoot his bow and she teaches him more jotnar magic 🥲

daughter-in-law angie asking papa-in-law kratos for takeout bc he said no to tretre but now tretre is using angie for what he wants bc he knows kratos cant say no to his daughter in law (spoiler alert, it worked.)

modern HS/early college AU where atreus convinces angrboda to skip class and ofc she says yes after the 3948th ask 😭 he takes her all around the city and blows up his card being stupid and is on punishment for a month

they made it a routine to meet up, (if they’re not already living together) cuddle and watch the stars together at their favorite place✨

making bracelets or other jewelry for eachother

Modern AU where angrboda and atreus are almost joined together at the hip and are troublemakers anywhere they go and not having a care in the world whoever thinks terribly of them. They're borderline if not actual felons at this point but as long as they have eachother, nothing else matters.

angrboda teaching atreus how to do her hair and now he cant stop putting her in hairstyles that he thinks she’d look good in 😭 also likes to put flowers in her hair

angrboda likes to make random knitted items, accessories or clothing for the both of them and atreus is seen with atleast one of those items a day (everybody’s like hey man where’d you get that thing from and hes like, my gf 😁)

While in their animal forms, they play alongside fenrir and jormie and the other ironwood animals

famous painter!angrboda, aspiring artist!atreus

Due to atreus’ greek blood, he retains alot of body heat and angrboda uses him as her personal heater when its too cold lol

both of them redoing their existing tattoos and or making new ones on eachother 🥺

Modern au where theyre popular tattoo artists

angrboda likes to play with his ears and this causes him to sleep everytime regardless of human or wolf form 😂😂

before laufey left jotunheim, her and angrboda’s parents were close. Laufey swore to protect them in their next lives when they meet once more 🥺 although its mostly from his own feelings of love, atreus doesnt realize that his need to protect angrboda also comes from the promise of their parents, unknowingly fulfilling his (and his mother’s) duty even further 💔🥹

[theprinceandthewitch]

So... does anyone else get the impression season 3 was a giant middle finger to Disney? Like a whole "Oh, you want to cancel TOH? Fuck you. We are going to give you an ending so bad people are gonna shit on it forever."

While TOH always had an issues in the writing department there's just something about Season 3 that's particularly awful and kind of malicious tbh. Season 3 doesn't feel like there was any care put into it.

So... while I do like Thanks to Them because Hunter/Luz bonding and Caleb/Evelyn=Luz/Hunter tidbits... it's actually really, really bad. There is no logical explanation for why the characters are fucking around for literal months. Philip should know where titan blood can be found as he had SOMEWAY to get to TBI's. He also knew of Calebs and Evelyns relationship - thats why he even went to TBI's to begin with. He wanted to look for Caleb and convince him to come back to the human world. Philip met Evelyn when he and Caleb were teenagers and he was PROBABLY friends with her before he decided to double down on the witch hate.

Another thing: Flapjack did not need to keep quiet about there possibly being a rebus in the house and the existence of rebuses in general FOR MONTHS. He could have said the moment they came to the human realm something like:

"Hey so, Caleb and Philip were friends with a witch named Evelyn for years. There's titan blood hidden around Gravesfield. I know the landscape has changed over the centuries but you can probably find a vial somewhere by using glyphs near the location shown on the rebus. Caleb and Evelyn made maps to titan blood in the form of rebuses because they needed to keep their relationship a secret. This dilapidated house you guys arrived in when you came to the human realm is Calebs house because the doorways fixed location in the human realm is Caleb's house. There's probably a rebus somewhere in the house. If there are no rebuses in the house, I can show you the last known locations of other rebuses."

Because nobody does anything proactive to find a way home UNTIL Amity accidentally steps in the hole in the floor FLAPJACK made while looking for the rebus. Not only did Flapjack not bother to tell Hunter about there being a rebus that leads to titan blood in the house they fixed up and have been using as a base of operations for literal months - none of the characters ever thought to look around the town for some clues that could lead them back to the demon realm. All the characters try to do is build doorways. VEE could have mentioned there was a witch who came to Gravesfield centuries ago, which would have kickstarted their journey around town. Vee knows about the story because of Yesterdays Lie - and they fucking mention Vee's confrontation with Jacob and show us Jacob in Thanks to Them. THERES LITERALLY a whole museum full of rebuses that were dug up around Gravesfield the characters could have gone to. You cant tell me Gus, Amity, Willow and Hunter were too afraid to explore the demon realm as if they weren't literally living in the human realm for months and went on trips during their stay. As if they weren't gungho about exploring the human realm right after finding the rebus. AS IT they didnt have Vee as a reliable guide around town.

There's also no reason for Luz to go back to school when she has to find a way to get everyone back home. Luz going to school is another time waster with no reason to exist.

On top of that Flapjack doesn't tell Hunter a damn thing about Caleb. We dont even get a "Flapjack finds it difficult to talk about Caleb" moment to explain Flapjacks silence. We dont know WHY Flapjack doesnt say anything about Caleb even though Flapjack clearly belonged to Caleb and not Evelyn. He just lets Hunter read these history books about Caleb which might not even be completely accurate because history can be omitted and changed to fit certain narratives. And the stories about The Wittebane brothers and Evelyn are proven to be incorrect because they paint Evelyn as a stereotype AND as the person who killed Caleb.

But yeah, Thanks to Them is alot less enjoyable when you realize ALL of the characters are wasting time for no reason.

[red-elric]

okay so like. theres a part of me that wants to say smth like 'after all his promises and morals, vash just kills knives? whats the point then!' but. ive been left FLOORED and still think its really good so lets think about this some more. like its not unsatisfying at all; let me figure out why. this might get a little stream of consciousness

i think the penultimate episode where vash struggles to come to terms with having killed legato is crucial here. he comes into the episode shaken; no one has the right to take the life of another, regardless of what they do, he's stopped living up to rem's ideals, he's killed a man and even though legato was a killer, even though milly and meryl and the townspeople would have died if vash hadnt killed him, theres smth in vash thats screaming out that its NOT RIGHT. that its a mistake. but then vash ackowledges that, and its through making the mistake that he finds his peace with what he's done; everyone makes mistakes, and as long as you keep trying to do better next time, youre still okay. and like.... that on its OWN still doesnt sit right w vash killing knives, but hold on! theres another layer

because whats REALLY important here i think is that vash is acknowledging that hes ALLOWED to make a mistake. and i think something much much deeper clicks here; this is the point where vash shifts from 'plant/superior being who preaches kindness, can always find another way out, and refuses to break his morals' to 'human who can and does make mistakes, and isnt any better than anyone else.' for as much as vash loves humanity and has tried to live among them, theres been heavy themes that hes NOT one of them throughout the show, even before its more explicitly revealed. humanoid typhoon. angel. plant. act of god. knives is so clearly out of touch with humanity, and embraces it, but vash is just as bad; hes just trying to pretend hes human. half his smiles are fake. his haircut is one rem gave him. one of his arms is a prosthetic and the other turns into a plant gun that destroys cities overnight and puts a hole in the moon. he doesnt BELONG.... until he does!

going back a step further here. wolfwood is absolutely crucial. he's an ideal example of the worst kind of human (and theres some deep heavy symbolism of him being a priest, the ambassador to a higher existence that speaks with the angels on behalf of humanity), he has killed time and again, he shoots a child to protect his own. vash cant understand him, until after he's already dead and vash has to shoot legato. wolfwood was a crutch for him, making the hard choices so that vash didnt have to, but he also becomes the model that vash follows, because even after everything else, vash FORGIVES him. vash recognizes that wolfwood was following his own morals, protecting his own people, and was able to grow and change and love in ways that prove that he was still, to the end, a good person. and if vash can offer that forgiveness and salvation to wolfwood without question, then it follows that he can offer it to himself, as soon as he stops acting like he should somehow be better than the rest of humanity

and all that on its own, with just the death of legato, is a very very good arc. so why does vash still need to kill knives afterwards? well..... because trigun is also a story about abuse. its about brothers who love each other so so much, but one of them uses that love to convince the other that the two of them are special, that the whole world besides them should die, that if vash would just sit tight and LISTEN to him then everything would be okay. a brother who cries like a child when vash dares to rebel against him, who insists vash is a fool playing games for leaving him and trying to save everyone else. vash spends the series following rem's final command: take care of knives. he cant kill knives, cant even hurt him, cant do anything to stop him when knives has been wiping towns off the map, because deep down knives MUST be good, there MUST be something worth saving, and vash is the Only One Who Can Stop Him. who can protect him. who can take care of him. and thats.... vash's way of seeing himself as the special little boy, the protagonist of the story, the Superior Being he keeps pretending he isnt. so OF COURSE when vash acknowledges his humanity and the fact that he just... cant do everything, hes able to see that actually, he cant fix knives. maybe no one can. and even if someone could, it would be a long time of people hurting before it happened. and vash can do something now to save those people and free himself from the cycle of abuse, so he does

and man. fuck. the shows been telling us from the beginning that vash is just some guy. we spend four or five episodes with no confirmation that he actually IS vash the stampede. he acts like a side character in his own story. its only when meryl starts to believe he's someone special that the audience starts to see it, and fittingly, its meryl speaking in his defense with the words 'no one has the right to kill anyone else,' as if shed say the same thing about anyone else, as if its not just that its VASH that drives her to defend him; thats when vash's humanity becomes real

anyway good show

[selamat-linting]

There are millions of things that were once considered supernatural that have since been proven as scientific reality. Platypuses, for one.

At some point "I don't believe in the supernatural" becomes "Science has already discovered everything there is to be discovered".

Which is factually incorrect.

One could argue that space aliens are supernatural. They are also incredibly likely to exist, somewhere out in the infinite expanse.

You don't just believe that magic isn't real, you also believe that if something is real it cannot be magical.

In a world where children's laughter exists?

How silly of you.

maybe you should understand the context of what im writing first asshole. in my country, we have faith healers, people who say they can fix a stroke with a massage, people who believe the stars align someone's career and personality, people who claim they can double money with some chants and help from djinns, people who put graveyard soil on their competitors' shop. people who ate convince thousands of severely ill people to stop chemo treatments to drink prayer water. people who collect gemstones and call it magic then sell it to a high price for desperate people down on their luck. and sooo many grifters saying they could speak to the dead. that is the "magic" im talking about. where in the world did i refer to magic as a metaphorical descriptor for something beautiful?

"magic" in my life, is a code for grifters, people using the naivety, desperation, and grief of others to drain them of money, giving them false hope, or worse. you have no idea how many cases of parents that were misled by local witch doctors saying their kids arent actually dead forever in the woods, theyre just taken to the realm of invisible beings and will come back someday. or mentally ill people and neurodivergent kids literally tortured in an effort to exorcise ghosts and bad spirits. spiritual gurus sexually harrassing vulnerable women for cleansing/ritual purposes, or faith healers and mediums who realized they cant keep up the lie anymore so they started killing and raping their clients. do you want me to send you a fucking of all that news stories that happen in my country? my country doesnt need more magical thinking, we need scientific and secular education, and a conscious effort to get rid of those superstitions or else we'll be stuck praying to various entities and magic items instead of actively revolting and working together to make a better country.

also where the fuck did i say science has already discovered everything? im saying im a skeptic, that means i believe everything has a scientific explanation, but that doesnt mean science have already figured everything out nor that its free of criticism. i dont doubt i will die with the knowledge that we only know so little about the universe we might as well call ourselves cavemen.

also where the fuck did i bring up aliens you freak?

forgive me for assuming but, let me guess : you skim read my personal post and instantly paint me as a stuffy skeptic bro who adheres to reason and hates whimsy despite barely knowing me or my life. youre shadowboxing over someone you created in your head but youre convinced youre fighting me. well i may be wrong so i apologize beforehand

but anyway, i hope youre just a stranger who never reads this reply. if youre not, then you really should have read my pinned post before deciding to follow my blog or be my mutual. i already write it down there that im critical to any form of magical thinking and supernatural bullshit. leave my fucking blog if you cant handle it.

but no matter who you are, i hope you got scammed by a faith healer and had a botched suicide attempt after realizing youve fucked up your entire recovery process and lost all of your money and potential. or yknow what, cut the middle man. just kill yourself tonight. youre into magic right? you believe in those signs of the universe and lucky numbers stuff? cmiiw but if its true i hope you know that this is a sign from the universe to kill yourself.

[harmonicunt]

i rly cant see myself as separate from the primordial soup. every flaw i see in others is a reflection of myself, every joy too. every cruelty, all kindness. so many people see themselves as leaning towards one or another, but thats wrong, isnt it ? we're capable of all, in our own particular ways. youll pin yourself & doom growth if you put yourself in one corner.

narratives about who you are are mostly about who you think you are--and the thinking is only one fractal of it. i think ive been afraid of defining myself by the "doing" part of my existence because for so long i didnt feel like the "doing" was anything important or interesting or fulfilling. i didnt have language to show what it was teaching me, what it really meant--it was all isolation, and boredom, and rage. it was that, and it was more, and now that im still doing many of the same things alongside that which i truly want, which i find self respect in, which i am fulfilled through, i can see how i could've used different language to spin it in a different light, to be less lonely and afraid of myself. as my story evolves and changes each time i tell it, as others' stories of me grow (and i learn to listen to them, and trust them), im open to all the ways i hadn't seen before, and i understand how blind we are to who we are in one particular moment. reflection must come second.

thinking & doing are two pillars of our selves, pillars we learn to build and tear down and build again. i'm trying to figure out where our control over those pillars lie. i know there are more--we are more than what we think and what we do--and i know we can change and reshape them, but the first shaping is amazing to begin with. is the first shaping the one everyone else does when we're young, and we don't know how to do it ourselves? or the one we do when we emerge, when we look at how our pillars been formed for us--a necessary evil, unfortunately,--and we decide that it should be something else, something that belongs to us? some people never make their own, and i think many of them are very unfulfilled. each one is unique. the idea you can control it utterly, shape yourself into anything you want, is partially a false narrative, addressed by the fact that at first we have no control over what shape it takes. then, i think almost everyone finds there is an immutable self they can never put a finger on, no matter how long they circle around it. you repaint, and carve in new grooves, and add height or branches. you circle around a self you won't know until you've found them. we have many methods of circling around to the self, of seeing what fits with the pillar we think we want to create, and then adjusting when we realize that's not quite the look we thought it'd be.

i've employed a few strange ones through my life, one of the most curious that i come back to often being kin & kinning. a sort of pinning that often felt like a chicken/egg situation, even while i was in it i found it fascinating. what i was and what i wanted to be and what i thought i would be (i was kinning when i was 12-16ish, so i wasn't much of anything but a ball of energy and wanting) merged together into these grand pulls to characters who werent necessarily favorites but made me fucking insane because of what of myself i saw in them (sometimes it still happens, but it's gotten weirder and more specific as ive aged, and harder to explain or project to others who dont already know me.)

i dont know where im going with this. can we ever know ourselves if we dont know who we are to others ? if we dont listen to what they say about us? it feels bad when someone doesnt take what youve said about them, compliment or criticism or neutral, seriously. people who ignore compliments or use them to insult themselves, and people who ignore criticism and tell themselves that they are the best at something you have been struggling with them for, convincing themselves that the problems they run into are external and eschewing responsibility. how far can we push our own self actualization before collapsing? how happy can we convince ourselves we are, not knowing the joy on the other side ? what tells us that we're miserable in the shape that's been built for us? why do we all seem to forget from time to time that everyone else has been using the same scale of time that we have been to build theirs? why do we flatten them to the pillar we see in one moment, inconsiderate of what came before ? it's self-centered, and that's seen as very dirty, but we can't be anything but self-centered when we're only in our own heads, right ? generosity, consideration, kindness, respect, so much of that is in the eye of the beholder. what we think of as universally decent can make another think of us as deeply annoying, even rude, culturally or personally. idk. we're all the same and we're all different and it's weird and i could add questions and ponderings to this forever but ill stop here. i love you.

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 We are officially at 5x06. The beginning of the end and heartbreak. Just so you know: he somehow convinced himself that he was just reading too much into Justin’s behavior previous episodes and that he misunderstood Randy’s performance and that all will be okay. Don’t ask how he got to that conclusion bc he doesn’t know either. I would also like to say that i wrote this out on Friday but ended up not being able to send it cause somebody was grieving cause it was the anniversary of Freddie Mercury. So he forced me and the neighbor to go to a bar where he bribed the bartender to put Queen on. And then he pouted at the bar, listening to Queen, talking about Britin to the bartender (!!) and drank his juice. Like a child. Anyway: we came to meet Brandon ‘whats with the zoom in on Brian and Justin? What is happening? HE TURNED BRIAN DOWN? Bri Bri, i would never treat you like that!’ And immediately after that it shows the wedding Rage cover ‘what the fuck is happening? Why are they doing that? That makes no sense, i don’t like it. (mikey and ben start kissing) WHATS WITH THE ZOOM IN ON JUSTIN AGAIN?’ ‘WHATS WRONG WITH DEBBIE? What is happening?!’ And we made it to the Queer Guy meet and greet ‘what the fuck is this? *looks at me* whats going on in this episode? LOOK BRIAN SHOWED UP! (Brian has his queer guy speech) i hate to say it but i think Brian is right. I mean even that dude at the news said that even homophobes love him..why did Brian just have a flashback to that blonde dude rejecting him? Again whats going on this episode?!’ Hunter says theres no solution to him being treated bad by his classmates ‘burn the school down to the ground. Problem solved. I’m surprised Ben doesn’t understand Hunter..like dude Deb treated you like shit for half a season?’ And we are at Britin scene ‘AHHHHH MY BOYS! (Brian says he’s gonna burn mikeys house down) GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE! (Justin asks Brian whats his problem and my brother pauses the ep) i could ask the same thing! Because why are they zooming in on you all the time? Whats going on my Blondie? (And Brandon is back on screen) whats up with Baywatch wannabe? Brian is actually talking about his problems to Justin? SEE GROWTH! Why is he so passive aggressive to him?’ ‘Emy, Brian was telling you the truth. Oh shit, what is he gonna do? Fuck someone on live tv? *forgets about the cast and goes to make a fist* FUCK. I cant have anything this season’ and we’re at the scene where Brandon is there during Brian’s meeting ‘okay who the fuck is he and why is he everywhere? How rude up to tell Bri he doesn’t have fears about aging meanwhile he’s ready to jump out a window over it. Why does Brian even care about Baywatch? I feel like even though it would bother him, he’d act like he doesnt give a fuck. WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!’ Em is talking about underwear on tv ‘oh god, oh god. I wish this was real news but holy fucking shit. I need Emmett back at party planning. SEE EM, BRIAN WAS RIGHT! Everyone is always rude to him but he’s the only one who tells the truth’ and Britin is at the house warming party *he sees Monty/Ely* ‘ughh i forgot they existed. I dont get how they can be friends with them? Is it cause of the whole birds of the feather thing? Aka boring and annoying attracts? (Mikey introduces JR and it shows Hunter) WHAT ABOUT HUNTER?! I swear they forgot about him. (Brian and Em/Ted bump into each other) Why is Emmett angry? We all know he was telling the truth….a bit rudely but fuck it. Why is Emy lying? *looks at me shocked* is it possible that Lindsays hair got worse? (Ben pulls out the Rage comics) oh no, i still hate this. (Monty/eli speak up)WHY ARE THESE TWO DUDES SO OBSESSED WITH EVERYONE BEING MARRIED WITH KIDS?! Oh i just know Blondie was hiding this from Bri. Id be annoyed too. WHATS WITH THE ZOOM IN ON BLONDIE?’

he somehow convinced himself that he was just reading too much into Justin’s behavior previous episodes and that he misunderstood Randy’s performance and that all will be okay - oh noooooo Brother Anon, you are not wrong but tens of us wish you were.

I love that your brother was mourning Freddie and made the bartender put on Queen and listen to him talk about QAF. Are we surrrreeee your brother isn't a little queer?

Oh my god, he's Debbie. If Debbie were a man.

HE TURNED BRIAN DOWN? Bri Bri, i would never treat you like that! <- UM exactly

His horror at the Rage wedding issue is appropriate and correct. WHYYYYY.

I love how much he hates Monty/Eli

And how much he appreciates that Brian tells Emmett the truth. Look, would you rather have people who blindly support you in your life or would you rather have a Brian?

And yes, the entire "OUR CHILD JR" and completely neglecting Hunter smh.

[oswednesday]

so like when they arrive to this universe, f+c are like hey just ask them to give the crown over to you? and hes like : / doesnt know how to deal with me when im like this (caught up in a war game), he mostly let me do my own thing as long as i wasnt harming the princesses and he realizes how bad that sounded out loud in real time, so the plan a) is trying to convince me to give up the crown and i, of course, send them to the torture dungeon for a million, billion years

but as fionna and cake are about to dig their way out simon just waits for me to be out of earshot and opens the door, hes like, with fondness, they never remember to lock the door after them i--ice king <-ungainful recovery here)'d always have to yell at them about it, theres a pause where he realizes what he just said isnt as funny as he thought it would be, but there's no time for that (that being self reflection) the plan b) is to go see if simon from this universe is frozen in ice where he found me and to thaw himself out, they can give him him being the present simon so he doesnt have to deal with any of the pain of anything at all and have everything back that was pulled away from him and let this version of himself deal with everything in the universe he came from the crown so that version can host fionnaworld, but when they get there its orgalorg who is frozen i catch up to them and inadvertently thaw orgalorg, who after they leave remains as a companion (the gunters in this universe are all bunnies that do my bidding and explode (basically when ever its funny) leaving like ice and snow behind) it becomes a whole cute found family situation but it doesnt make the universe any less grimdark, i do , in fact, help orgalorg regain his cosmic level powers, so even though heis fully subdued in one universe; the concept, the cosmic being, is never absent from reality, such is the life of a cosmic being! i mean i suppose thats true for everyone so like we do raze this existence, and when that universe is burnt through entirely i ascend as yet another paradox body. this time under the employment of orgalorg instead of golb, but its nice to have a third opinion to get like an outsider pov on a problem youre having when youre focused on chaos and destruction having someone focused on conquest and indulgence really helps make sure youre not just breaking stuff, like cant have conquest or destruction without things to conquer and destroy, you know?

a sentient piece of toast ive begun to slice long style with a big knife: [had been putting up a good show of resilience but now the pain is just to much and has started to scream]

running gag where its obvi me and peppermint butler are exe's but that does not make any sense for the timeline of this universe

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[im-not-a-simp-i-swear]

Because it’s spooky month, here’s a spooky/at least creepy request!

How would the Brothers react to an enigmatic!Not related to Lilith!MC?

Like MC isn’t human but at the same time it’s hard to not believe it yet you can feel the vibes from them. There’s also no history or any information that can be traced back to MC. They have no family, their name is fake yet they never tell anyone their real name, their dna isn’t human; so it’s sorta like they’re just…there. As if they just appeared in existence at random and they’re just adapting wherever they are.

MC is very vague about their past or what kind of inhuman they are (for the sake of messing with everyone) but there’s something very unnerving about whatever dark secrets lies behind MC’s kind face especially since they have an “intimidating” presence that makes even other demons skittish around them. They also choose to not show their abilities since they allowed a lot of things to happen since they were bored (getting killed by Belphie even though they saw it coming, Lucifer trying to kill them but they just enjoy seeing him lose his cool at times, Levi going berserk was amusing to them etc.).

Because Lord knows what really would’ve happened if they actually chose to do damage and it’s best no one provokes them to the point of doing so.

This one took a good second to read for me xdd, also sorry for it being short

BROTHERS REACT TO NON-HUMAN MC

Idk what to put as gif

💙LUCIFER

- he could inmediately tell something wasnt right the moment he checked with detail your info during the process of selecting a human for the program

- the unnerving feeling got worse the moment you arrived in the devildom, even diavolo looked at him and did some movement with his hands to ask if this was a human

- he hates everything even more when you dont seem to be afraid when he tried to kill you, its like youre trying to piss him off

- asks himself constantly if he messed up or not cause you just give him bad vibes, but he also feels like its too late to do anything about for the program

💛MAMMON

- you definetely gave him chills the first time he saw you and when he was assigned to be your guardian

- protests even more anout making a pact with you and, by the looks of it, mightve actually gotten away with it if it werent because of what lead to him doing so

- something isnt ok with you and if he can avoid being in a room alone with you for too long then he will

🧡LEVIATHAN

- didnt notice something wasnt ok with you until after he did a pact with you, yeah thw bad vibes were there but he was convinced he was just overthinking

- is so confused as to whether youre human or not because you are just too creepy

- watches animes with plots related to off-puting humand to see what he can do, also does some research about not humans to try to figure out what to do

💚SATAN

- could also tell right of the bat that you werent entirely human, he has read enough about spooky creatures to recognize them

- is trying his best to figure out more about your history and just what you are exactly, he isnt going to be happy however with the lack of information he finds about you, and of course you wont tell him

- he cant just ask you for help, you wont tell him anything, its time to play the roll of some of his favorite characters and start to play detective

💖ASMODEUS

- tries to play it off as just him not knowing you better but there is still that one tiny pain in his guts that tells him that something isnt right

- offers to give you a makeover, tries to get to know you better, etc; but his feelings dont change much for better, you look human but arent human

- if any of his brothers need an excuse to avoid you then they can count of him for help, because he understands why they'd wanna avoid you

❤BEELZEBUB

- it could just be him overthinking.. or you could actually not be human

- he wants to get along with you but there is something about you that doesnt sit right with him

- doesnt help at all the part where you dont seem afraid at all when lucifer tries to kill you nor when you dont seem faced about seeing your dead body after belphie killed you

- at least youre a good person right?

💜BELPHEGOR

- didnt notice those vibes until he was freed and was killing you

- something about it didnt felt satisfying for him, you didnt bother to fight nor did you beg for help, nothing, it just felt weird

- will try to use his powers to visit you in your sleep to know better just what you are, he regrets doing so and might lose sleep for the next couple of days afterwards

- continuosly asks himself how you are still here in the devildom, everyone else can tell you are sus, so why are you still here??

[chaosagenda]

i really do hate sds and only like a solid maybe 5 characters and heres why

(spoilers because i cant talk about my hatred for this anime without spoiling it)

theres so much pedophilia. i dont give a jack shit if shes the repetitively reincarnated version of your lost lover meliodas STOP groping a 16 YEAR OLD!!! “the age of consent in japan is 16″ die. that isnt even true, the age of consent varies by reigon. but even then, sds does not take place in japan or anywhere that even exists on earth, so shut up

and then there’s ban who engages in a relationship and has children with an actual child “elaine’s thousands of years old!!” that is a CHILD and if you’re attracted to that, and if you think that’s okay, i ask for you to seek help because if you did not feel uncomfortable at all watching his romance boil and kiss someone who looks like she is 6 you have serious issues

the only scene i genuinely like is that one scene in the first season when meliodas and ban reunite and bro so hard they break an indestructible barrier and all their problems were solved yeah man i didnt even need absolute cancel i just threw my bro through 13 different walls and it just busted

then theres the typical anime thing where the men should be twinks but are ripped for no reason. technically this isnt problematic but you seriously cant look at him and think nah man that dude has an 8 pack

that is a twink. and im not sorry

then theres your standard “these characters should have been gay” and then they werent like guila and jericho were a thing at one point and nobody in the world could convince me otherwise 

and there are scenes so laughably bad, like when veronica kisses tiny griamore on the head and he reverts back to normal size except all of his clothes are ripped and hes ass naked. then guila comes in and just. blasts him (this scene was both actually horrible and legendary at the same time)

then this is more of a dub thing but some of the voices are actually so bad. why does zeldris sound like that. that is a short emo man that is not a buff member of the swat team

fanservice is bad too. you cant tell me nerobasta’s back doesnt HURT from those actually gargantuan jugs. i dont even think those are possible. that dress is hanging on for dear life. this doesnt even work you cant trick me into thinking this animes good by putting e cup anime titties in my face

anyway this anime’s a 10/10 i recommend it to uh to uh uh a very large audience

and the movies arent that great either, especially cursed by light because you spend have of this plot lollygagging and then suddenly everythings fine, but youre still halfway through the movie so elizabeths mommy has to descend and start throwing hands and with the power of teamwork the cast defeats this universe’s version of god the only part i like about that movie is the two 10 second scenes where arthur and merlin are present and the whole time they’re just like 🧍 ominously

is there anything i like? plot wise, absolutely not i cant think of anything but i do like some of the characters

diane, while annoying a lot of the time, was genuinely okay. she was my first kin and for that she’s pretty close to my heart. but her intense infatuation with meliodas in the first chunk of the anime actually drove me up a wall, but she does get better

king was pretty great, and while a little bland, i still liked him. hes also dubbed by max mittelman and that just increases my adoration for him

gowther is... gowther. the buildup of a tall muscular man in armor but is actually a pink haired androgynous twink was great i loved that, i cosplayed him in 2020 and i still say “✌️sparkle!” to this day

escanor was pretty cool until he... wasnt... and then im not gonna say any more (rest in peace king)

i liked gilthunder after he was out of his emo phase and even enjoyed him when he was still in it. the circumstances of his villain arc were generally stupid as well as confusing and vivian’s existence gets on my nerves but gil was cool, along with howzer, who is probably one of the most horrendous looking characters ive ever seen (as controversial as that statement is) but at least hes funny. theyre also voiced by robbie daymond and ray chase, so if youre a persona fan, like, come on this duo is iconic (duo. i have a strong dislike of griamore and to my concern he does not exist)

merlin, i liked merlin. i liked merlin. a lot. for reasons. for a lot of reasons. she was she was uh and her character arc and backstory was um... i liked merlin yes i did

okay i cant not talk about arthur anymore. i love arthur. hes my little closeted ginger homosexual guy and he’s just great. he has actually zero idea whats happening at any given time but still is op as all hell, and i just love him. he has a baby face and is dubbed by zach aguilar so its really hard for me to not just want to hug him when he died that extremely brutal death i just sat there like ☹️ come on man thats not cool you cant kill off the best character and expect me to keep watching this

yeah thats right i never even finished it. i was a huge sds fan in like 2018 when season 4 and season 5 werent out yet, and then i stopped liking it, and when they did come out, i never finished. i watched a couple general scenes, and im very aware of the plot and what happens after the point i stopped watching and as much of a hate watcher i am there is no way that those last couple seasons are even sort of worth my time. ill watch the movies whenever they come out but... i cant handle any more than that.

anyway seven deadly sins is actually horrible and nobody should watch it unless its the filler episodes where the characters sit around and complain all day because those have the capability of being fun

[authorofemotion]

OK BESTIE IM HERE WITH A THEORY!!!! this is gonna be really long!! sorry! so! to give you a short summary of The Narnia Code (the book i keep bugging you to read), the author (Michael Ward) describes how each of the Chronicles of Narnia correspond to one of the seven pre-Copernican planets!! in case you dont know, the pre-Copernican planets are Jupiter, Mars, the Sun (or Sol), the Moon (or Luna), Mercury, Venus, and Saturn and they are what people believed were the planets when they believed that the universe was Geocentric (planets revolve around Earth). This reasoning, contrary to popular belief, was NOT due to people being selfish and self-absorbed (although that still definitely probably existed). they actually believed so because they believed that outer space was the "seven spheres of Heaven". each planet had its own sphere and outside the last sphere was where people believed that God dwelt. so Earth, being at the center, was actually believed to be there (in part) because it was physically and metaphorically the farthest from God (this concept is also in Lewis' Space Trilogy, so it'll make more sense if/when you read those!). anyways! Ward brings up a particular poem by Lewis called "The Planets" (i have a pdf and can send if you want to read it!). he says how he figured it out was when he was reading it and one of the lines about Jupiter was "Winter passed, and guilt forgiven" (sorry if thats a little off; im saying this all from memory) and Ward was immediately like "wait. ive read about that before in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?!" SO THEN he goes through each book and how each one correlates to a planet (he also talks about the silent music through the stories, which Lewis touches on a bit in his essay "On Stories" which i just read last night!!) so Jupiter correlates to Lion, Witch, Wardrobe/Mars +Caspian/Sol + Dawn Treader/Luna + Silver Chair/Mercury + Horse and His Boy/Venus + Magician's Nephew/Saturn + Last Battle (at this point i'm very, very glad that tumblr doesnt have a limit to ask length anymore)!! the one that convinced me the most is Luna, so ill summarize that one as best as possible: Luna was associated with madness (that's where we get the word Lunatic) because it was changing constantly. It was also associated with water (for a reason i cant remember right now). if you've read The Silver Chair, you know there's a lot of emphasis put on madness, like when Jill, Eustace, and Puddleglum are put under a spell in a way so that they dont remember that the Sun exists. also the Lady of the Green Kirtle is just kinda crazy. Michael Ward also has a longer book thats the more in-depth version of the Narnia Code (called Planet Narnia) and my teacher said that in that book, he lists every single reference to water/being wet in the Silver Chair and it takes him like two or three pages. theres more stuff that i cant remember atm but ITS CRAZY.

ANYWAYS my theory comes in when Ward was talking about the Seven Heavens and how "the heavens declare the glory of God" (psalm 19 is Lewis' favorite, btw!) and i thought "well the planets aren't the only things in the Heavens. what about stars?" and then i thought of the seven churches in Revelation that correlate to the seven stars that Christ is holding in Revelation and i started going through the letters to each church,,, AND THEY ACTUALLY EACH HAVE PARTS THAT RELATE TO THE BOOKS TOO?!!! so say the Lion, Witch, Wardrobe with Ephesus!! "toil and patient endurance" (Revelation 2:2) is similar to what the inhabitants of Narnia had to go through when waiting for Aslan. to cross-reference, Paul tells the church in Ephesus in Acts 20:29-31 that "fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock" and this correlates to Lion, Witch, Wardrobe both figuratively and literally, as actual wolves are sent after the Pevensies, Peter kills a wolf in his first battle, AND mr. Tumnus is taken away by the Police (which happens to also be wolves)! so a great importance is placed on the evil of Wolves in the book. in the letter to Ephesus, the church is condemned for "abandoning the love you had at first" (Rev. 2:4) and is told to "repent, and do the works you did at first" (Rev. 2:5). both of these correlate to Edmund's development and flaws (i have quotes to support this, i just dont wanna type them out rn). Christ also tells Ephesus "yet this you have: you hate the works of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate". so i researched a bit on the Nicolaitans and the word means literally "to conquer the people" which is what the White Witch and her followers were doing. i also found a quote somewhere that says that the Nicolaitans claimed "not that they were destroying Christianity, but that they were presenting an improved and modernized version of it" which is what the Witch was doing when she paraded herself as the Queen of Narnia in place of Aslan's rightful place as the King.

anyways im gonna write about this for my thesis in my tolkien/lewis class next semester and IM SO EXCITED WISH ME LUCK

THIS IS THE COOLEST THING IVE EVER READ

IM DOING MY BEST TO GET A COPY OF THE BOOK BUT NOW I REALLY REALLY WANT TO READ YOUR THESIS WHEN YOU WRITE IT

[morelike-bi-light]

unplanned unexpected unwarranted vampire charlie au

au where bella decides she cant leave her dad behind like her mom did and convinces edward and carlisle to protect him too. carlisle ushers him out of the house and explains things to him, providing proof as needed - as much as he can. they go to arizona to hide out, charlie stumbling over his words to convince renee that he and bella were threatened and are in enough danger to need to hide out in a different state.

bella still gets the phone call, and renee doesn't answer when either of them call. when the others are distracted, she still gets away to meet james, but when the cullens go to save her, charlie's waiting outside with esme and rosalie (who are guarding him on the road instead). victoria is there too - and she gives them more trouble than they anticipated. emmett and jasper are distracted by the redhead and the noises from inside the studio getting louder and more concerning by the second.

when a scream rings out — he's never heard bella sound like this, not even when she was a mousy little girl buried under his seahawks baseball cap far too big for her head — charlie can't help but wrench open the door and run inside. his baby is cowering away from a bloodthirsty monster and there's not even a pause in his step as he sprints over to shield her form with his own, squeezing her against his chest and praying for the first time since he heard she wanted to come up to forks for the rest of school

his prayer's interrupted by a loud shattering sound and a malicious laugh. "aw, look at that! daddy's trying to save you. what a noble, pointless sacrifice!" a smack like stone hitting stone. "well far be it from me to deny a man his dying wish."

he doesn't hear what he says next - he doesn't hear anything, or see anything, because everything is white and sharp and pain, burning like a star, blooming in the crevice where his shoulder meets his collarbone. nothing exists right then but the cold fire in his skin, burrowing in his bone. it feels like hours before anything changes. the first thing to slip through is wet on his cheek and cool hands scrabbling to clutch at his.

"dad! dad!" bella? "edward! carlisle! anybody, any of you, please, I need help! my dad — needs help!" a hand on his cheek, trembling and frantic. "dad just hang in there! somebody help us!"

his fingers twitch, stretching towards her. "bella —you okay — bells — "

"im okay! im okay, im so sorry, dad, im so sorry! im sorry, it shouldnt have been you — this is all my fault — edward! edward please, you have to help him!"

hers is still the only voice he can discern but there are more emerging, blending together but getting closer. he catches snatches of words like 'bit', and 'spread', and 'minutes', and 'sorry', and 'safety'. a pale shape stands at the edge of his vision, and at once he's lifted from the floor. he convulses, eliciting another audible choke from his sweet daughter, and he recognizes a familiar, soothing voice from above.

"we can't stay here..."

"what? what do you mean?"

"we'll bring him back with us..."

"what are you going to do?"

"let him take him, bella, please"

"we'll watch over him, i promise."

"Im not leaving him, i can't just let him go!"

"i promise," softer. "jasper — will he sleep?"

the world softens and fully crumbles away. there's nothing left. nothing but fire.

time doesn't exist here, but then the fire, it doesn't go out. yet it stops hurting. it stops eating. it starts feeding. a single thought pops into his head that will make no sense to him when he recalls it later — a weary 'oh. i see.'

three days after the ballet studio, he wakes up to a brown popcorn ceiling. he blinks. he can see every crack and cranny in the plaster.

"mr. swan?" a tinkling voice says, and he sits up. "good, I thought you'd be up." the little black haired cullen girl beams up at him, chipper but sorry. her hand is curled around his wrist. "bella will be back any moment, and carlisle soon after. they're just across the hall, actually. he says we'll need to look after you for a while, just in case, —"

she pauses, just soon enough to avoid being interrupted by the sound of beeping and pressing keys and the door swinging open. bella is whole and wonderful — he can see every inch of her and she's really actually fine, not even a scratch — and she freezes seeing him but then she's flinging herself forward, pale face contorting

"dad—!"

"b-bells," he stands up, quickly, too quickly, to meet her, tugging alice along with him, but edward catches his girlfriend's hand and holds her back as he voices her objections to her entering at all. charlie scowls at first, when a scent reaches his nose — a smell that might've made his stomach growl if it could. his eyes cast up in open question.

edward is stiff, eyes looking conflicted but legs poised to pounce. "it's her."

"oh." charlie shifts uncomfortably on his feet, properly spooked, willing the despairing thirst away. as moments pass since making the connection, the scent of blood — of food — fades, to the point he can hardly detect it at all. it's a sharp relief.

"you — how do you feel," bella forces out, eyes locked with his with an uncomfortable intensity that makes him squirm and anxiously rake a hand through his hair. carlisle and the others filter in behind her and he's grateful for something else to look at, now he knows she's safe.

"better," he settles on. "than before, I mean. was that — did —" he waits for someone to interrupt him and fill him in, but it's quiet. "are you okay?"

a bark of laughter bursts from her chest and she assures him she's fine, eyes wide and brows furrowed like she can't believe he's a real person, the way she gets sometimes when he says something so awkward and sincere it makes her want to groan. but she doesn't want to groan anymore. instead she's torn between crying and singing.

"what do you remember?" carlisle asks, gently stepping forward, his gaze a mix of clinical fascination, wary confusion, and personal concern. charlie would flush beneath it... but the heat never comes to his cheeks.

"exactly how much are you looking for," he grumbles. "last thing i recall..." no need to go into the pain. "finding bella with that... guy at the studio."

"just finding her?"

"trying to protect her," he amends, focused on avoiding everyone's gaze. "and... it was..." then he notices how much there is to see, even when hes trying not to look at anything. he frowns. absorbing this much — it feels like a headache, minus the pain itself. overload. "it was him wasnt it. he bit me"

esme and jasper nod, but carlisle and bella just look away, the brunette visibly cringing. edward's jaw tightens, and for some inexplicable reason, the sight of that is what makes it all click for him.

"so," he fumbles for a second, but the word comes out so clean and sure when he says it, not at all like he feels. his mouth is physically incapable of tripping over itself like hes used to, no stammer, no stumbling. he grimaces and all the muscles pull exactly like he intends them too. he shakes his head. "he bit me. and? can i assume that's what's got me feeling so weird? the... some sort of effect of the bite?"

bella doesnt answer. neither does carlisle. surprisingly, it's that blonde girl that replies, though not to him.

"show him," she says, and after a moment, esme creeps forward, gesturing for his hand. he hesitates, but takes it. edward shifts to place bella behind him, as if she needs to be protected from him the way charlie protected her from james, a move that breaks his heart. gently, esme maneuvers him over to the bathroom. she turns on the lights, though she didn't really need to. he blinks. red. in the middle of a face with skin more suited to a shelf at a morgue than the tasteful backsplash of the bathroom, framed with dark, curling, concerningly long lashes, his irises were red. that wasn't it, either.

"am i..." he huffed. "am i seeing things, or am i way better looking than usual?"

a ripple of good humor disturbs the room, from esme's warm giggle, to a watery chuckle from bella, to a great, booming crow from emmett.

"way to focus on what's important, chief," alice nods, at the man's back in an instant. she doesn't sound nearly as sarcastic as those words should warrant. "finally, a man after my own heart."

"wait till you try running for the first time," emmett interjects, joining her behind him. "mind, blown."

some of the other family members sigh and shake their heads. charlie runs his eyes along his sharper jaw, still sprinkled with the stubble he'd acquired in the preceding chaos, now even and almost roguish where before hes pretty sure it made him look old and unkempt. he looks younger, he thinks, not young exactly, but good. better than his age.

he pulls away from his reflection, eyes flickering from face to face around him. he might even have said that he fit in with the mythically beautiful family. hes struck by how silly he was to dismiss the strangeness of the gorgeous, antisocial group out of hand, now that he sees how strange he's become himself, before his eyes fall to his daughter.

"im sorry dad" she mumbles, humor evaporating, and a pain resounds like a crack in his chest.

slowly, carefully, he moves forward, and the rest of the vampires stand on high alert as they realize what he's about to do. bella's eyes are bloodshot and he presses his lips together in a bittersweet line as he wraps her in his arms and tucks her close, just under his chin. a shudder runs down his spine as a phantom pain ghosts over his shoulder, but he brushes it aside and it evaporates like water. when he breathes in, she smells the way she always has, and he is not hungry.

"it's okay, kiddo. we'll get through this. im just glad you're okay."

and they do. charlie's vampiric powers are related to shielding, like his daughter, but his are more like putting things on mute, if that makes sense. small things, obviously, and usually physical. he's got a great deal more resistance to thirst than most newborns, for example, because it's muted by his powers, particularly for those he cares about. unfortunately this makes it likelier for him to, uh, die of thirst, as it's possible for him to forget to feed. and he can't block edward from hearing his thoughts completely, but they're muffled naturally by his powers (and always will be. hes not helping anyone into his head any time soon, especially not his daughter's boyfriend). he can also mute his own scent to the shapeshifters — which means he and billy, after things are all sorted, will still be able to hang out and be best friends!! he can also mute his own footsteps,

anyways this started as a meme post intending to go into how comedic it would be if charlie got changed and bella spent the rest of the series complaining that edward wanted to spend the rest of eternity with her father but not with her but then i got struck with some mad charlie feels and this happened so anyways vampire!charlie everyone @charlieswanismyrealdad @effervescent-emmett @cullen-trash @emmettmccartycullen @jaspell @leahclearwaterdefensesquad is this anything

[g0dtier]

Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims

Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.

Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.

Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.

People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.

Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.

The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.

So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.

And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.

What you CAN do to help teens:

- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible

- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.

- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.

What doesnt help teens:

- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.